Command Spouse Leadership Course

As you know, in Feb/March the boys and I had the opportunity to join Jim during his second week of the Command Leadership Course in Newport, RI.  And the main reason we all went is because I went through a week of Command SPOUSE training myself.  I didn't really know what to expect, and there was some nervousness and frustration on my part leading up to the trip with having reading assignments (ironically the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People) in advance that I just really didn't have time to do.  It was about all more than I could handle just trying to get prepared to take a week off of work while watching the boys by myself for the week leading up to it as well as getting us all packed and ready for the trip.  So when I received some surveys in the mail to complete before attending, I squeezed them in, but completed them in a state of distress with my mental focus set on a high level of productivity.
With all this said, I get to the training and we start grading/analyzing our survey results.  One of the surveys we took was the Rokeach Value Survey where you prioritize the order of both your "terminal" and "instrumental" values, and then make note of what you selected as your top 5 for each.  For my terminal values,  from having taken the surveys at home while in survival mode I selected health, accomplishment, self respect, family security, and an exciting life as my top 5 terminal values, and logical, ambitious, responsible, capable, and self-controlled as my highest instrumental values.
So once I had settled into the week of training, and was out of my typical weekly chaos (that was MUCH magnified leading up to the trip), I decided to re-evaluate my priorities and re-take the surveys; considering more what was important to me, and not necessarily what I had been acting on lately.  From this, I ended up with the terminal values of health, family security, true friendship, inner harmony, and a comfortable life, and instrumental values prioritized as responsible, loyal, loving, logical, and intellectual (seems like a more drastic difference in instrumental).

What I mostly gained from this experience, was my personal struggle with work-life balance.  Too focused on production, not enough attention on the special moments and feelings, or time for family and friends.  One other task we had to complete was to create our own personal vision statement, so I used the acronym BALANCE to prioritize my values for my personal vision:

Best friend to Jim in all situations
Advocating for my kids at every opportunity
Loyal to friends and family
Allowing myself personal AND down time every day
Never letting email and phone distract me from the present
Creating fun life experiences for myself and my family
Educate others to be healthy and fit

For the most part, the week was about learning about the structure/function of the Navy, different positions/ranks, and the types of tasks/issues our Commander spouses will be dealing with during their tour.  However, another fun task that Jim and I got to work on together was our Command Tour Charter.  This was assigned to be a visual representation of us and how we will handle the command together (and all of the stresses, responsibilities, and potential social obligations), and what our areas of focus will be.  Surprise, surprise, we decided to do a PowerPoint presentation in order to present our project representation of the iPhone with carefully thought out apps and organization:

You can kind of see the Darth Vader head in the VAQ-209 patch as our background

The bottom row of always easily-accessible apps are all based on communication - our most important element.  Making sure that for our family life/ease, we are in constant communication about our schedules, using calendar invites to add events to each other's calendars.  

The left column is all about making sure that we each take care of ourselves in our busy and hectic lives (work-life balance!!).  Specifically throwing in some things we enjoy doing together - working out, going for a run, and throwing in some individual activities like reading and solitaire (also to remind me that Jim needs some time to himself to recharge).

Family and friends are a large priority for us as well.  Keeping in touch with FaceTime, sharing pictures and updates on PhotoStream and Facebook, and making sure that we get babysitters and go out on dates to continue to strengthen OUR relationship as well.

Financial security for us and our boys.

Making sure we are making wise choices now to allow for a comfortable future.

Even though we are (BOTH!) now finished with our formal education, our accomplishments are definitely something we carry around with us, and hope that it will provide us the experience and knowledge we need in our current positions and whatever is next to come.

Looks like we're in this together!